Dreading Monday - Sleepy Rant

Ok, it's 12:19a.m. right now....I should be sleeping. Preparing for tomorrow's return to work, but I can't sleep. I mean I had four days off, I should be ready to go back to work, right? Negative. So what AM I doing? Well, anything to avoid going to sleep. Reading random mags I haven't gotten a chance to read, sorting my pictures, organizing my iTunes, watching bad tv, oh and surfing the net.

Luckily I found a good article on one of my favorite blogs, Afrobella, about transitioning from relaxed to natural hair. I started this journey about 4-5 months ago and so far so good. It is messing with my vanity just a bit [ok more than a little bit], but I can't wait to have natural and more importantly - HEALTHY/FREE hair. Yes, I'm questioning how I'm going to look, but I'm optimistic and so excited about this new journey.

I'd also found Nappturality about a year ago when I attempted once before (before giving in to the chemicals) - and the blog has pointed me back in the right direction - just when I was thinking about going back to relaxers.

Oh, what also helped was when I searched "relaxer" on wikipedia. The results also helped to remind me that again, I was making the RIGHT decision. Btw, since I'm really trying to participate in the movement to support black products/businesses it doesn't help that a majority [if not ALL] weaves and relaxers are made by those who are anything BUT black.

I had a conversation with a caucasian female co-worker (yes, that one) about my hair regimen. Listening to myself it sounded so ridiculous that I paid so much money to get my hair straightened every 6 weeks. I mean A LOT of money went towards these products that damaged my hair. What was I thinking? I know she was definitely laughing silently on that one.

Who makes hair weave? Who makes relaxers - really? Why are we groomed from such a young age to get these chemicals that damage our hair? I know a lot of people believe their choice is completely independent of societal pressures, but I wonder if that's even possible. Is it?

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-relaxer/straight hair. The best part of being a black woman is the versatility we have with our hairstyles. Mind you, I'm not a fan of colorful weaves and creations, but we can do some unique and beautiful things with our hair. I just think we should be able to see our hair in it's natural form and still feel that we can be beautiful. Women especially feel a need to conform to men's view of beauty [not to mention society's] - so I really feel like we rarely look at what "we" think of as true beauty. Ya feel me?

What do you consider "pretty/handsome?" Be honest. I'd like to hear the male and female opinion firsthand.

So in the meantime, I'm going to look up some more hairstyles on the net....let me know if you have any suggestions/recommendations to help me along my journey. If you are going through a similar journey check out Natural-Shapes Hair Salon in DC and Carol's Daughter hair products.

G'night...

Work, Chitlins, and White Folks

Ok people, I have to let y'all know what went down yesterday at work. It has a little bit to do with that pic of Jason "Mr. Chitlins" Whitlock you see up there in blackface. But anyway, let me set it up a bit for you. I'd just gone to lunch about an hour earlier with a Caucasian (I'm trying to be proper) co-worker (we'll call her Jane). Then I get an instant message on our internal work messenger that went a little something (no, it went exactly) like this:

Jane: "What's that food that African Americans eat? It's not grits but something else...?"
Jane: "It's kind of gross"
Jane: I am sure that ALL people eat it but I have heard how some like it the best
Jane: I think it's intestines...
Jane: Do you know what I'm talking about?

That's it in a nutshell. But I hadn't noticed the message until she called immediately after I hadn't answered.

The phone convo went a little something like this....

Jane: Hey girl!!! (trying to sound black like we're cool like that)
Me: Um...hello, what's up?
Jane: Did you get my message.
Me: Oooohh, no, let me check.
Me: *speechless*
Jane: I just wanted to make sure you didn't take it the wrong way
Jane: Some of my best friends are.....blah blah blah
Me: I think what you're referring to are chitterlings. They are more of a Southern dish than an "African American" dish.
Jane: Oh. Strange question huh?
Me: Very odd. I don't think anyone's ever asked me a question like that before.
Me: What made you ask that question?
Jane: I was talking to someone about becoming vegetarian and it came up...
Me: Oh.
*Awkward silence.
Jane: Um....so I guess I'll go now.

Ok, y'all, come on now.

Mind you, this is the same woman who tries to let me know how "down" she is by saying she likes certain black artists (who she can never remember the name of) and straight asked me if I had on a wig when I changed my hairstyle. Oh and made a special effort to say that she doesn't like black men and would never date them. She had a couple chase her HARD (calling nonstop, leaving notes on her car, etc.), but will NOT date them. Mind you, the chick is not Angelina at all (but that's another post right there in itself - some blk men have mad issues). But I held it down, kept my composure, and had a good laugh off this ish.

But here's my theory. Lets keep it real - racism/envy exists even in the workplace. I'm a pretty educated chick - B.S. in Computer Science, M.S. in Engineering, working as a software engineer - I don't think that ish matters, it's the fact that I'm BLACK (woops I mean "African American"). This woman is also a software engineer (working with outdated technologies), but doesn't have the education to back it up. I'm thinking that these conversations she likes to have with me are a way to knock me back down to size. That ish definitely worked yesterday. I felt REAL colored, lol. Good job Jane.

I should've said something stupid as hell too, like, "what are those things Caucasian Americans keep hanging? I know ALL people probably hang them, but I hear whites like it best. Um....not burning crosses, but.....what is it again?" Jk, jk....dang.

Truth is, I don't think "Jane" is really all that racist. And, I'm not really upset - just annoyed. I think she just has no idea how to act around blk folks. Or maybe the problem with our society is that we're TOO race sensitive and need more folks like Jane to just ask the uncomfortable questions to learn more about race-sensitive issues. But f*ck that, she better not cross me again with that ish, lol. I might not be in the mood to be so friendly next time. But on a serious note: What would you have done?

A blk co-worker of mine gave me some great advice. She says the woman needs to 1) Check the motive of her curiousity and 2) the way she asks a question. Example: If asked to a Mexican American, which one of these questions would fly: 1) Why y'all be hittin pinatas with sticks?, 2) I'm curious, can you tell me the origin of pinata tradition?, or 3) What's that silly thing Mexican people hit with sticks? (You decide)

She also gave me a good bible verse that was perfect for this situation (had to go to the LORD with this one y'all) --> "But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing they do gender strifes." - 2 Timothy 2:23